The U.S.P.S. Drives Me N.U.T.S.

We use the United States Postal Service to ship things internationally, to states like Hawaii and Alaska as well as to PO Boxes and military addresses.

You would think that for such a huge 'business' they would have their act together.

You'd think that.

But you would be wrong.

If a package appears to be lost in transit, we have to call their 800# to file an investigation.

First of all, they have hands down the worst and oh-so-infuriating automated phone menu. Inevitably, I end up screaming at the computerized woman to "Just give me a %$#& live person, dammit!"

After about 5 minutes of screaming, swearing and random button pushing (I am so not kidding), I either get disconnected or if I am lucky, get a real person.

Not that a live person is much help because...

Almost 95% of the time when we call to file an investigation this is their response :

"Please call back later. Our systems are down."

Seriously??

SERIOUSLY??

What the hell are they doing with all those extra pennies they keep getting from us by raising the price of stamps every five minutes? Obviously they are NOT upgrading their PCs.

I honestly think this is their 'system':

I like the steering wheel.

But they still piss me off.

So now I make poor Jessica call them.

I owe her therapy and lots of chocolate.