Monday, May 5, 2008

My Dream SwimSuit

I am going to the beautiful island of Kauai in June and have already begun the hunt for a swimsuit since I will be spending 80% of my time on the beach. I want to find something that looks cute but isn't too revealing and is something I can actual SWIM IN.
As any woman knows, this is a task that brings with it tears, swear words, setting up camp in various dressing rooms, (remember to pack bottled water, snacks and ProZac) realizing with a start that yes, that IS your big ol' butt in the 3 way mirror and even bouts of drinking because a woman can only take so much looking in the mirror and shrieking in fear. At herself. If you sober up and don't give up easily, you may walk away victorious with a decent swimsuit. And at least a $100 credit card bill for said item. To cross this TO DO off your list, you may want to start in January. Which is why I honestly think department stores bring swim suits in stock so early. (But you will still be pasty white and be packing those extra 5 or 10 winter hibernation pounds...)

My main swimsuit issue is I am shall we say, well endowed in the chest area. So I can't wear those tiny little scrap tops you small busted ladies are lucky enough to be able to pull off. I need support. Reinforcement. Scaffolding. Rebar.

I need underwire bras in my swim suits.

Photo from the Scaffolding Training Institute. Now THESE guys could help me!

Underwire swim tops do exist but honestly they aren't that great. Most of them are more of a single wire going under both boobs which doesn't lift AND separate but mainly smooshes. Thus....the uni-boob.
Not pretty.

I truly believe there should be a caucus or some forum uniting good bra makers such as Walcoal with swimsuit makers to create the ultimate swim top. Sexy. Supporting. NO UNIBOOB. Think Pamela Anderson at 100 running down the beach with two well supported breasts and minimal bounce. (Those babies can't defy gravity forever...can they??)

In case you are wondering.....I'm not THAT big and mine are real.

So in the event anyone who works for either a bra company or swimsuit maker reads this post...please. I beg of you. Join forces. You will be the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup of the swimsuit world (great separately but oh-so-much better together).

Bouncing...I mean bloggin off for now.


At May 8, 2008 at 8:59 AM , Blogger Meilei said...

Try out Macy's, you may have success!


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